The Happy Flags[]
A Random Story by Sidd.
Once upon a time there was a little city. Not much happened in this little city, but they had all the common things that most cities have: Parades, Schools, Good Burger joints. The city didn't have many problems, but it did have one major issue. It had lots of pipes running underground, but no way to mark them. This didn't generally pose a problem until people started digging in their front yards. This problem wasn't very well-considered until Homer Mason celebrated his 50th birthday, and the townsfolk did the classic "Stick as many flamingos in the front yard as how many years old you are" prank, and they had to somehow fit fifty plastic flamingos into his front yard. The flamingos had little plastic bases, and the folk had to bury them, so they basically tore up most of the ground in his yard, but managed to save the grass. However, they tore up the ground so hastily that his gas pipe was ruptured in several places. The city came and repaired his pipe, but the natural gas had seeped into the ground so thoroughly that, even now, it would mean very bad news and a nice new hairdo for anyone who lit a match within three hundred feet.
The city had to find a solution to their anonymous pipe problem. They, after many discussions and several shots of java all around, decided on a colored flag system. The colors of the flags would tell what kind of pipe was below, and the digits on the flag itself would tell how deep down it was. They were virtually ecstatic. They had decided to have a "Happy Colored Flag Float" in their next Memorial Day Parade, for they wanted to celebrate not ever have another "Flamingos of Mass Destruction" incident. The float was dressed up as a lawn, with several up-scale colored flags sticking out of it, one of each color. The city decided it would be second-to last, right before the Santa Claus float. The whole city had heard of it by Memorial Day had rolled around, and they all gathered expectantly at the side of the main street, eagerly anticipating the sight of those happy colored flags coming around the bend.
The parade was a great one. They had bands playing, school teams marching by with their big banners, and the little shriners in the cars. However, the townsfolk applauded only halfheartedly, They were anticipating the Happy Flag Truck, which would be towing the float of their anticipation around the corner. Then they would see it, and they would cheer. They soon saw it, and cheer they did. They cheered as one would almost never hear people cheer at a Memorial Day parade. They cheered with an extraordinary joy. The float, in all its splendor, came around the corner, driving slowly along the road. It was not a sight for sore eyes, but a sight for eyes with a nail currently in them, but the twonsflok were more impressed by what is symbolized, the disappearance of any possible future Flamingos of Mass Destruction.
There were people on the float handing out little colored flags, so the little children could hold them and marvel at their ingenuity of design and simple beauty. This was so well received that the people on the float were bombarded with children who wanted, so desperately wanted, a little flag of their very own. They couldn't hand out enough flags out fast enough. So, they all decided to toss the flags out to the populace, so they could all get one and admire it. Unfortunately, the flags had masts made of wire, and soon the little flags were sticking out of some of the people in sometimes lethal places. Those nearby screamed, but their screams mingled with the cheers, so those a little further down were blissfully unaware of the impending danger. They all rushed forward, and those that survived fled for their lives, hoping, just hoping, that a flag wouldn't stick in their back on the way out of there.
This grizzly incident continued for some time, and when the city came through and saw the mess, they simply cleaned it up and decided to not mention it. If anyone ever asked about it, they wouldn't answer. If anyone gave them photos of the carnage they simply said "Anyone can do that on any computer. Give us some real proof." So, the little flags were placed on every lawn in the city. Some people remove them, for they memorize the pipes' locations very quickly, but some leave them there, as reminders. This incident has been lost to time, and most have little or no memory of it, and there are no reminders or documents anywhere covering it. The only real link to it is those little colored flags.
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