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This article was written by ChineseLegolas and BionicleChicken. Please do not add to it without their permission.
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| """""Staff""""" the Musical | |
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| Story | |
| Setting |
Okoto
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| Date Set |
Year of the """""Staff"""""
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"""""Staff""""" the Musical is a truly epicest tale written for the Okoto Writing Contest by ChineseLegolas and BionicleChicken.
This is the Legend of the BIONICLE[]
The Protector noticed that the “Staff” in her sepulchre was badly misshapen and rusted.
What could possibly have resided within this artifact? Mayhaps it had been created from some dark and dank idiot that had a migraine and a bad drinking fountain.
“Why is my fountain all over the bathroom?” she wondered which caused her husband to eat some little Skull candies.
“Hey, wifeypoo, what is going down under my thighs.”
“The “””staff””” pulsated like a spider tremendous. I don’t think I “””””””””staff”””””””” in down with hairy, scary, teary-eyed, bloated carcass sickness maggots of maggots. Am shook. Please let the man step on my trap lest I slip. Before, I used my “””staff””” as a propeller to fling myself out across this desert of Okoto as fast as a propeller flings others.”
“Huh.” He scratched my shoulder confusedly. This is new. The Protector forgot how to tie up pigs so a new force of noble habit and flatulence out-maneuvered the husband pig.
“Capitalists rule.”
The pig raised its miserable snout and oinked a sorrowful squeal, singing, “Auld the arms and legs, spaghetti king’s hath nought put our Dumpty Dreadnought again. Exhunt.”
Eventually, she found ninety-nine point nine bottles of spiders on her hands. Without mercy, I basically bifurcated on her soul to dust. Daintily, ironically, and methodically, she turned into a horseradish jar.
Alas, poor Umarak, he doesn’t know how seashells hurt profusely on my “””””Staff””””””. The voluptuous Protector winked as Umarak and pig Skull intertwined causing spatial and entropic temporal implosions which happened. Intermittently, explosions cancelled BIONICLE.
Skull pig, with gusto and charisma, rode.
‘Twas dark.
So Period killed Umarak until Soul divided into two yams and voluptuously steamed. Period.
Moist lettuce spewed, heralding wet showers and balmy cabbage. Sometimes, several cases of Region groping grapes instilled juicy thoughts of splendor from Vahi. Underneath Umarak fishermen, fish fish towards fishy fish.
The antidisestablishmentarianists Protectors and cocky, blocky Creatures wept bricks as Umarak slew through sludge balls that Kulta used to contain his other Kultas. Plus, that’s mine if your dead are living today.
“Brethren, Sausage,” exclaimed Makuta, mourning Ekimu’s left senpai waifu combo hybridization meal sprinkled mayonnaise.
Death knocked Sausage. Sausage shouted, “Tahu come down to dinner, otherwise Gali may marry Korgot.”
Blares.
Flares.
Chaos.
Mom’s rice spaghetti.
Onua chortled in broken Nepalese. It died willingly. Legislation for required parking improvements before Gali divorced Sausage. Period of impasse staled, like old Makuta Frederico. Americana. Tarantino.
Soon the Bros will Smash that dream. And end our suffering. Together. Clash of Bashing Hashes. A Battle Mash-up of rash. Kulta. Kivoda and no one else teaches squirrel. Pity.
Pitcat and PhilANurse as wasted opportunities as painful and pleasureable peasants. Girls just die. Boys die. Srsly. Rlly.
We’ll get lunch now. Understand that? No.
Heck if I hecka wished for true girls.
Sausage perished. Meat cherished. Whoever we deem worthy of sausage shall unto the unholy grail which seethes agonizingly into oblivion cuts deep.
Deeper we sink into crippling extinction.
This is the legend… of the BIONICLE. Tahu lamented the death of his father, Sausage, while his mother, Gali, shrugged and went off with her new fiancé Korgot. I shid and fard evrywere. With Umarak and Kulta defeated, the Protector Creature slid the """Staff""" back into her misshapen sepulchre. """Staff""". I have to go pee pee in my pants.
Characters[]
- Tahu
- Gali
- Onua
- Umarak
- Sausage
- Kulta
- Kivoda
- Korgot
- Pitcat
- PhilANurse
- Makuta Frederico
- Period
- Soul