Talk:Rebel Log

Official NRC Review
Ah. Here we go. Another review.

Rebel Log, as anyone can understand from the premise, is a story serial about a group of Resistance members on Spherus Magna trying to start another war. Now, as you realize from the story, these people are not nice guys. They're fighting against the nice guys. But I've always had a soft spot for antihero stories (my favorite kind to write, as you probably know from Shadows of the Great Beings, Cursed, and Nightfall) and this appealed to me at the beginning.

Sadly, I was a bit disappointed, mainly for two reasons: The first is the lack of description. (I'm not even going to go into detail on this. The irony...) The second is the lack of character development. More on that in a moment.

The story is mainly action-oriented, like most BIONICLE fanfic stories; I've yet to read a fanfic story serial, or even a short story, where not a single projectile is fired, not a single power is used against a foe, not a single sword is drawn, and nothing at all explodes. (The closest thing is probably Nightmare World, where almost the entire story happens in a dream.) But this story is especially so; there's hardly a chapter where no one's killed off. However, the action isn't shown in too much detail (or at least not at the beginning; your writing's improving, Toa 95), which is not a pro, to say the least.

Now, the fast-paced, action-heavy style leaves little room for character development. We may see the characters' thoughts every once in a while, but not much else; we don't see the reasons they have for thinking such thoughts. Skovax is a character I want to understand more of: Why does he have a bounty on his head? What does he have against the legitimate government? What are his motives for starting a war? These are all very important questions, and even if you choose not to answer them, you should at the very least recognize them.

My final judgment: If your writing keeps improving, then this is going to get much, much better. Again, you really, really need to work on characters and description, so I hope you listen to this review.

I didn't expect myself to say this, but I am genuinely looking forward to the upcoming chapters. This story has a lot of potential...

Overall rating: B-

Beware  The   Slicer  00:22, August 28, 2010 (UTC)