Talk:Elements (poetry collection)

Reading this poetry for Fire, some of the stanzas just are not consistent. Some of the rhyme scheme is off beat. Having so much repetition on "feeling the fire" and stuff you can do with it feels pretty uninspired. Poetry is about using words to convey meaning or storytelling through unconventional means. This feels like you're listing things, not actually telling something compelling. We know what Toa of Fire do, and so would Matoran in-universe. You'd benefit from actually telling an experience, IMO. Just my two cents. :)

-- BIONICLE Toa May the speed of Pohatu be with you. 03:40, May 18, 2019 (UTC)