Talk:Trainees

You asked for a proofread of your story. Therefore, I will not go into any character development or plot development.

You've taken an interesting approach to your prologue. I like this narrative, it pushes the reader straight into the story. Below are the typos. Ok, first chapter.
 * witenessed
 * But for destruction... (this is not a proper sentence opener)
 * It was like...It disappeared, but existed. (This is a teensy bit awkward. There should also be a space after the '...')

"WAKE UP!" Don't use all-caps. Just don't. If someone is screaming, just use an exclamation mark.

hot headed... should be a hot-headed.

"But she still got up out of her bed despite the annoyance." You need a comma after 'but'.

"There were no rooms for the three Toa to sleep, so with the help of a veteran Toa named Archoss, he and along with the another Toa, Prodax built a small shelter for her to reside. " This is a bit of a run-on sentence. That, or there are just too many phrases. Break it up.

 "I don't know, I guess he got a head start and headed out. And no one gets to go past me." Dialogue should go on a new line.

"She got outside, as a cool breeze went across her mask Ithaka ran to the tower." Did you mean: She got outside and a cool breeze went across her mask as Ithaka ran to the tower.

"And still pressured the Toa Juba..." Who pressured?

"She began looking at the sky. And noticed a figure in the sky, Tarokotta. She then got an idea, she linked minds with Tarokotta, and almost immediately he teleported down to her. And the two teleported out." Extremely choppy sentences, some of these aren't even sentences. Review of this part. For example, "And noticed a figure in the sky, Tarokotta." is not a complete sentence.

Second chapter:

"And the only one who showed up was Prodax." Again, with the incomplete sentence.

"And responsible." You seem to have a problem with sentence structure. I advise you to go through your story carefully before writing any more. I stopped here at Chapter Two. You should proofread yourself before handing this over to a beta reader.

Hope this helps.

'''Talk