User blog comment:Vorred/Elegy - Feedback Blog/@comment-958607-20140928203525

Wow, where to even begin. I suppose I will give voice to the question on everyone's minds:

Where's Range!?

Another fantastic opening to a story. I think I slightly preferred the opening to Patriots since it carried its own clearly-defined subplot (and also had Glonor, which greatly impacted my thoughts) but this was still a sensational Prologue. I have to admit, I had my doubts that Lanudos would make much of an impression with his Inika build, but he genuinely looks good. This is an example of truly great photography and a groovy new setting. I like the mix of the wooden walkway with the overgrown backdrop. I like the close-up shots of the two Toa. I really liked the fist clank. I even liked the variety of Bohrok/Toa hybrids you had on display.

The overall focus of this installment, which I assume will be Lanudos and Berwak's involvement in the creation of the Farside Toa (or rather their breed of recolored Toa Nuva/Mata) was one that intrigued me. I imagine that I'll have to give it a second read over to fully understand the significance of it, but the appearance of a blue Lewa Nuva was a nice little glimpse into the full scale of the potential recolor characters out there. I guess Range x Theran was the one true ship after all.

Another aspect that I really like was the fact that, once again, Glonor is the first character in frame. ;) I also like how you've taken some creative license over the Bohrok origin and suggested that Bohrok are not sentient when Globoh has a Krana in. I'm fascinated to see what becomes of the concept and whether or not it links in with the Farside Toa origin.

I think Lanudos really stands out as the breakout star of this chapter. We get to see him knock down a Toa. We see him use his Kanohi Miru. He has some great poses and lines. I didn't think he would grow on me but he's actually shaping out rather nicely. I look forward to watching his and Berwak's origin expand.

In way of corrections: "Those are troubling news" should be altered to "This is troubling news". Also Then it layed still" should be "Then it lay still''". Other than those two, there don't seem to be any typos or problematic sentences.