User blog comment:Vorred/Elegy - Feedback Blog/@comment-958607-20150123235223/@comment-5174759-20150126174958

Part Two of the long reply to the long review!

Chapter 11 is by far the longest chapter so far and I really saw no way to make a cut as that wouldv'e surely broke the immersion the reader has. I'm glad to hear all the effort of making this long chapter was worth it in the end being the best so far to you!

Yes! By reading some comments in the past I really got the impression people thought Nuva to be yet another Lord Cliché and I did everything I could to forge a different view on him. At least it worked for you :D

Theran's death. How do you kill off the main character? It had to be meaningful. And surprising, as unexpected as possible, and you expecting Range to die definitely helped with that. So I put some of his past actions in there, my least favorite weapon and of course that epic fall to the ground to end his story.

Aescela was here to get the audience back to see who the true enemy of the story was. I put it so much work to make Nuva less-evil I feared some would see him as an actual good guy and forget his past action, just as the people of Rhagard did. As I really like Matoran heroes, she was the best candidate to do that, finally standing up against him with her "fixed" leg and new mask.

There are a few people who stayed behind, but you're right: It looks like the entire city is moving out. Perhaps I should've shown the rest of the population at the settlement to ensure Nuva wasn't all alone back there.

And your theories are there to be disproven, aren't they?

I had no real plans on Berwak's backstory other than him being a Hagah and banishing the original Lanudos, but your idea sounds good so far!

Now onto the the part I can't agree with you. I know that you despise the little romance I included in the story, but everything I did there was intended and for a reason. Sure, Merall is a strong character - but so was Range. The latter was in despair after what happened at Rhagard, why shouldn't Merall need the comfort of talking to Nerean? No character can be emotionless all the time. The the whole scene dedicated to Merall and Nerean. I sense that it wasn't a great idea to reveal my thoughts on the two as you, of course, see them as a couple now. It was never planned to make a "Forbidden Romance". Why should it even be forbidden? The whole scene was intended to be awkward, as Nerean lacks the skill to express herself properly and with Merall just not getting what she's hinting at. In the end, the problem with seeing them as a couple is what ultimatively destroyed this scene for you. Like in the past, affection was shown one-sided; It was always Nerean's doing. Merall might've been friendly towards her but never showed any romantic interest. A little sad how this ended. I should've really kept it as a secret and not reply, like I did with all the other plot points.

The Skakdi were so much fun to write! I never was as free to just throw some light insults around and write some totally brute characters before. They should've appeared earlier! And sure, that line about Nerean's old armor was so intentional you had to see it. That Skakdi just likes himself too much not to use that opportunity.

Aescela changed a lot in Elegy, and particularly her change of Kanohi underlines that. It was very important to me not to make it seem meaningless and just a choice of design to give her the Ruru.

It's always worth a try to fool people! Look at the other comments on it, it perfectly worked... and as long as some people fall for it I will continue with it :P

Thanks, yet again, for the detailed review! I hope to discuss that whole character-romance stuff with you further.