User blog:BobTheDoctor27/February 2013 Update

It would seem that I have just finished my practice exams... that's a nice feeling. :P

My February
Well, I must admit, it's been a long while since I was editing freely, adding stories and making edits. But it would seem that, with my practice exams out of the way, I'm ready to return to full-scale activity, baby. :D

* Gets arrested following a lawsuit from 's mother because I just called her son my "baby." *

New Chapters

 * Zero Hour: Prequel
 * Frozen Calling (Chapter 18)

Fractures Universe Rewrite
The reboot goes well, or at least thus far. :P This month I've been focusing on a number of characters from a vast multitude of different stages in my story, though my attention has mostly been towards their MOC forms.

Below is a list of the characters I have revamped this February:
 * Toa Tourik - Revamp completed and posted
 * Betak - Revamp completed and posted
 * Cromata - Revamp completed but unposted. Also given a small supporting role in Frozen Calling ' s latest chapter
 * Eselox - Revamp nearly completed but unposted
 * Nokama - Revamp completed but unposted
 * Birus - Revamp to take place in future
 * I really don't know what I was thinking in the first place when I decided to make a Ko-Matoran lime green and white. DX
 * Dessal - No revamp but I will be rewriting his character's role in my story for Judgement Day

Now, I understand that a lot of people are a little unsure what to think of this sudden change to my story, so I'll give you a few things to ponder upon. :P

I've been doing a fair bit of reading around lately. I've read quite a lot of short stories and started to reread old BIONICLE stories and web serials. Now I reread them, I find myself being more critical. A lot of the thrill of BIONICLE revolved around a strange new character coming along to do something (Miserix saving the Toa Hagah beneath the Coliseum, Teridax saving the Toa Mahri on Artidax, the Order of Mata Nui stopping the Dark Hunters invading Xia, Vezon saving all those guys from space, the Elemental Lord of Fire battling the Elemental Lord of Ice) The list could go on.

But there was something fresh about the way Greg did things, and I've noticed that it's more appealing that actually sticking to a plausible idea, like I have. So, I've come to the conclusion that BIONICLE is largely about the unpredictable mixed in with the clichéd. Sure it has its faults but it's so nostalgic and original. There's never been anything like BIONICLE.

But, above all, it's written by the God of all fanfiction. Greg Farshtey has been an inspiration to millions of 8-year-old boys around the globe, myself included in this BIONICLE-Boom. The uniqueness and professional angle that his writing has is what I lack in my story. He only keeps what is essential while I go off on non-plot-related tangents. He has all these different ideas running through his head, putting everything in for a reason while my story is riddled with Doctor Who references from an episode that I liked last Tuesday and unneeded complications to stories.

(And if you do happen to read this, Mr Farshtey, Glonor would very much like the opportunity to go off into space on a rescue mission to save Kopaka and Pohatu from the Red Star... :D )

Over Your Shoulder
Thus, I can confirm that Over Your Shoulder will be the first story to be rewritten, which is a shame because I put so much work into this one. I'll keep the main story the same, but I'm going to make it more specific to the Matoran Universe.

I have quite a lot of personal pet peeves about this story in hindsight:
 * Tollubo and Racasix's relationship: I'm certainly going to tone this down a few notches. No slurry kissing in public or sexual advances. Plus Racasix is my femme fatale. I can't have her being pinned down by one guy. There's no surprise in that, no villainous scheme or wicked streak in a goodly and loving partner.
 * The existence of Transporters: I just went out on a whim and wanted a car chase scene in this part. Of course, the arrival of Agori in Metru-Nui did bring more Earth-like technology to the Matoran Universe, and they have had 1000 years to build cars, but it doesn't feel right. :/ I'll probably get rid of that scene all together and replace it with something more futuristic, maybe flying transporters?
 * Hollian's House: I made it too cozy because I wanted to fit in some nice descriptive language. And, of course, it just turned into me describing my grandmother's house instead of a house that could be used by a resident of the Matoran Universe.
 * Hollian and the other loose women: ...BIONICLE is for kids... This was a bad angle for me to have gone in regardless of how much I wanted to make it an adult story. I'm going to rewrite it and have them all just working as waitresses or something. After all, "loose women" wouldn't be in a casino in the first place. Gambling is just as bad as... "what they would have been doing before."
 * Alcohol: I'm going to rewrite the first chapter. Tollubo is going to be in a pub, sure, maybe drinking a single pint of Steltian Ale, but he's not going to be drunk by this point, not till the end. I'm keeping that bit the same.

This story is probably the one that I'm going to change the most, largely because I got carried away trying to make it realistic and turned it into a story that would have suited Earth better than Metru-Nui. Plus there are a lot of Grammatical Errors. Would it be interesting to have Racasix rebuilt as the first female member of Sidorak’s species? Sure – We’ve only ever had male Steltians Sure – It would further distance her from Roodaka than the measures you have already taken No – You’d have to say “The Upper-Class Steltian” instead of “Vortixx” No – She’s too iconic as a Vortixx No – I’d think of her as a man

Frozen Calling
On the flip side, Frozen Calling doesn't have a lot that I want to change. Of course, there's the odd lapse in my grammar but I can't think of many things I want to change. Which of my female characters do you think is my most original? Betak – The goodly, fair, righteous ally who will go out of her depth to help Tollubo Nokama – The wise old Ga-Matoran who is symbolic of nobility Ninian – The kind and compassionate Vo-Matoran who comforts and supports Glonor Eselox – The battle-hardened but intelligent Agori trying to make her way in the world Sarnii – The Vo-Matoran whose fate is pre-destined to be against her Racasix – The Vortixx with all the… “personality.”
 * Romance: Love is essential for this story to work. The absence of Makuta Teridax in the Fractures Universe has resulted in the existence of marriage and Glonor develops a relationship for Ninian and her role becomes essential for the progression of the plot in the final chapters when Glonor gives up. I'm going to keep it but I may find a way to have him show signs of doubt as, of course, in the Deserts of Death Universe, love should not exist.
 * However, when I began writing, I did not know about this rule and assumed that it existed because of Jaller and Hahli in the BIONICLE: Mask of Light movie. There is quite a lot of romance in the Deserts of Death Universe and Glonor even develops the hots for Lothorna. For this reason, some aspects of Deserts of Death should not be considered correct... Just pretend those bits didn't happen and I'll rewrite them later. :P
 * Garnax: In chapter 2, when Glonor has the flashback to shooting Garnax, that happened in both the Deserts of Death Universe and the Fractures Universe. Neither counterparts have met the other since then and we still don't know what has happened to Glonor's Fractures Universe Counterpart. I will have to make the fact that it happened in both Universes more clear.
 * Datahubs: Datahubs were meant to be the Matoran Universe of computers, which I know exist in some form or another already, though they haven't been described in much depth.

Whispers in the Dark
Whispers in the Dark will undergo a slightly more extensive rewrite, particularly of the first 5 chapters. At one point I'd planned on Jollun's Fractures Universe Counterpart being alive beneath the Coliseum and I surely need to round off any loose ends. Who should be waiting by Tollubo's bedside in the hospital at the end of Whispers in the Dark? Jollun Eselox Matoro (and Carnac) Orkahm The Vortixx Head of the Metru-Nui Land Army who comes in afterwards
 * Chapter 1: I need to rewrite this one, making Tollubo a more interesting character and giving Memel a better introduction. Additionally, I really wanted to have Tollubo get arrested but having Orkahm and Vhisola dive on him and man-handle him to the ground probably wasn't the best idea... (Awkward Dermis Turtle!)
 * Chapter 2: I need to rewrite this to make Dessal a more important figure, as well as make Carnac do something other than just fetch a Kanohi for Matoro. He's going to be integral to the opening of Judgement Day and, so far, that's pretty much all he does in the entirety of the story serial. It's a nightmare writing stuff down on his page: "Several days after the end of the War, Carnac fetched a Kanohi Rode from Turaga Matoro's personal shrine and gave it to him." -_-
 * Chapter 3: I need to make it clearer that Harma is being kidnapped by Terminator and Ignis. Plus my characterization of Lhikan is WAY off. I feel like I've turned him into a Tahu-rip off instead of the iconic character of 2004. Additionally I need to rewrite much of the Tollubo/Jollun dialogue.
 * Chapter 4: Just needs a complete rewrite. There are some promising aspects in it but there's a lot that I'm not happy with, like Jollun's convenient use of a Huna Nuva that I'd never mentioned before instead of just using his Elemental Powers to create an illusion.
 * Chapter 5: Just... terrible. I posted it literally seconds before I went on holiday and reread it on my iPod in the hotel that night and was shocked at myself for how poorly written it was. Shame on you, BobTheDoctor27.
 * Marriage: I was supposed to introduce romance to the Fractures Universe in Chapter 3, that was the whole reason why the main characters went on that excursion to the Wall of History and met The Recorder. I feel that bit was badly done.
 * The Turaga High Council: The Council had a meeting in Chapter 2 but we only knew about Matoro and Vilnius, then Kapura and Velika just popped out of nowhere.
 * The Vahi: I had to have the Toa leave the Vahi with the Matoran in order for Danza to become a Toa but... that kind of defeats the point of them going there in the first place. I'll change it so that Tollubo takes it, uses it in the battle, then it gets sent back to Danza while he's recovering in hospital... but then whoever took it off of Tollubo's face would turn into a Toa... DX
 * Betak: I've pretty much abandoned Betak in recent times. The person she's based off of is in another country now and she doesn't fulfill her role as a love interest anymore, so I'm changing it. In the end, Tollubo does not profess his unwavering love for her. Instead he realizes that there is nobody for him and he is destined to be alone. But then... who waits by his hospital bed? If I made that person Jollun, will it affect the whole dynamic of the scene?

Falling in the Black
As Falling in the Black already takes place somewhere separate to Metru-Nui it's in its own world and I'm fine to leave it the way it is. I just want to make a few tweaks and adjustments.
 * Unwanted Grammar Errors
 * Confusion between what Kanohi Turas is wearing
 * More insight into exactly how Sarnii ruined Torlo's life
 * Actually finishing the story

My Next MOCs Blog/Zero Hour
The next My MOCs Blog that I do will definitely have all of the characters who will appear in Zero Hour. At the moment I have 4 Toa, 1 Makuta, 3 Rahkshi, a Dark Hunter member of Carapar's Species, a Brotherhood Servant, an Order of Mata-Nui agent of Brutaka's Species, and... Ramonda. :D

However, I'm also wanting to add a new Toa, who will be making her debut in Falling in the Black whenever I get around to writing it.

Turaga Velika
Furthermore, although I am planning on making a set form for Turaga Velika, who appears in my story, I've hit a bit of a snag. You see, with the sudden resurgence of Prefixes for Matoran of Lightning, Plasma, Magnetism and "The Green," I did a bit of research to see what else I missed and I just found out that Velika is the Great Being responsible for the deaths of Tren Krom and Karzahni. As I had him become corrupt by a Kraata in the Deserts of Death Universe I've decided to give that a rewrite, but it's also left me skeptical over how I'm going to treat him in the Fractures Universe. I know that he became a Toa in The Kingdom, the canon 2008 story, so he is definitely capable of possessing Toa Power, but it just doesn't feel right giving a Great Being a destiny to become a Toa, let alone a Turaga... :S

Plus how will this effect a possible Turaga Council Member Kaita?

(Yes, I do read your theories in the comments section... :D )

Dark Blue Armor
Furthermore, I’ve finally found the correct combination of dark blue acrylic paint that will allow me to paint pieces in Metru Blue. :D As you can see from Toa Tourik’s latest revamp, as well as Ninian’s Kanohi and a number of new creations that I’m going to release, I’m going to go overboard and show off my new array of pieces!

'' * Laughs maniacally while everyone else is stuck with the pieces LEGO gave them. * ''



The Powers That Be... Continued
Finally, while I'm planning on finishing my BIONICLE story career with Judgement Day... I think I want to make one last contribution. :P

I plan on making a comic following Judgement Day, which takes place in the canon BIONICLE Universe. Seeing as Greg is making slow progress with finishing the current line-up of web serials (They haven't even been touched in 3 years, I'm phrasing this lightly) I've decided to start a comic about the inhabitants of Spherus Magna.

Several years into the Spherus Magna age of peace, Kopaka and Pohatu have not returned from the Red Star. Additionally, Helryx, Lewa, Brutaka, Axonn, Vezon, Tuyet, Hafu, Kapura, Artakha and Miserix are all missing, and Velika has taken an unexpected leave of absence. Hence, a small team of heroes go on a journey into space to try and make contact with the Red Star. I'm assuming that they do not know that the Toa are there or of the Red Star's function but it will be their equivalent of sending a man to the Moon.

As per the most-recent style of building in the BIONICLE storyline, all characters will have BIONICLE Stars forms and Matoran/Agori characters will be even smaller.

The current line-up of crew is:
 * Toa Sonitous: A veteran Toa of Sonics who acts as the team's leader. He is their principle strategist and main tactician.
 * Of course, what rag-tag team of misfits would be complete without a badass leader to keep them all in line?
 * Toa Korral: A rookie Toa of Water created after one of the Toa Hagah sacrificed his/her Toa Power to a new generation of Matoran.
 * A running gag in this series is that we do not know which Toa gave her the Toa Power as this expedition cannot be considered canon.
 * Brontus: A neutral Skakdi of Gravity who acts as the spaceship's main pilot. Additionally, he has sworn an oath to protect Matoran and is even more protective of his fellow crewmates that the Toa.
 * Not all Skakdi are evil! :O
 * Camillo: A Ko-Matoran Senior Technician who radically criticizes the Toa and is extremely eccentric in his manner of thinking.
 * I made a draft for this character and felt it just screamed Onipex!
 * Rascus: An Av-Matoran in disguise as a Ta-Matoran, though his identity is known. It was intended that he would be the first inhabitant of the Matoran Universe to set foot on another celestial body.
 * This is intended to be racial diversity at its peak in the Matoran Universe. It's like landing Jesus on the moon. :P
 * Bardus: A lower-class Steltian. A member of Krekka's species employed for security reasons.
 * Intended as one final attempt to redeem Krekka's species.

Farewell
Anyway, it's about time to wrap this whole thing up. :P I have a lot of work ahead of me but, with your continued support,, I know I'll get through it. :D

I'll be seeing you next month, or in the comments section below... and that's right... I mean you,. ;)