User blog comment:Jefforyduck/Please help me/@comment-453181-20111103211639

Both could use more description, as BG said. For example, in Chapter 3 of Dark Tornado. It's not described where Jefokai and Mr. Duck are until halfway through the chapter, and then when they leave that location, their next location is still unknown. Also, I think it needs a bit more steady plot progression. Jefokai barely had any disbelief of Teridax's return. I think he should have needed a bit more convincing. As for Odyssey, I think there needs to be just a bit more showing instead of just telling. The latter two chapters seem to remedy that, though.