Talk:Duty Realized

LoganWoerner Story Review: Duty Realized
This is my official review for Stormjay Rider's entry into the Spring Writing Contest 2014, Cracked.

I think there's a plot here, but I don't think that it's resolved. A Toa named Jethryn is assigned to assassinate some murderer, but he is distracted by some Bo-Matoran, who are playing. He then leaves, because he needs to get back to work. There is no resolution; a goal is set, but we don't see whether or not Jethryn comletes said goal. So there is a half-implemented plot.

I like the description you used throughout the story, especially the part where you described how the Bo-Matoran planted seeds each year. You painted a picture in my mind of what the Bo-Matoran's culture might look like, and I like that. I also like how you made sure that the reader saw Jethryn as a seasoned assassin whose armor was slowly wearing a way, as if he had seen better days, where he was paid better.

This story is so short that there is not much more to say. The plot was established in the next-to last paragraph, which is a bummer. Does Jethryn kill the murderer? I don't know.

Final Verdict: ''Duty Realized is a well-written story with great description, but the plot fell flat for me. Although the story really did use some great references to the fact that spring had come, the plot was only half-implemented. The goal of the story was only revealed near the very end of the story, and it wasn't resolved. I think that the story could be lengthened, describing Jethryn's mission to kill the murderer.

Score: C-