User blog comment:PepsiCola99/New Story Serial/@comment-1391601-20110518163641

Well, to go in onto the story, I think it is quite well-written. You clearly have talent for writing. But, I must admit, the plot so far seems a little bit of weak. But the story is early, and I`ll be sure to follow your writing to see if I am wrong. If you are not planning to do so, please lengthen the first chapter. I am eager seeing how the plot advances.