Talk:Under the Carver's Knife

A few words before I'm going to continue with your final point results. I've read through this story. I was interested what Kalvost's background might be with the Farside Villagers calling him a monster. At the beginning you've build up some nice suspense and the (at the moment) small amount of insanity which matches his character. But then the story began. I hope I don't sound to rude here and I hope you don't take this personally. But the content was hard for me to read, I even just skimmed over some parts without reading them properly because there was one thing present through nearly all the chapters: Kalvost killing and devouring innocent Matoran for fun. I know that you want to add on his "insane" kind of style, but the story is filled with so much unnecessary detailed descriptions of gory violence... that's not something his rather small appearance in Patriots would have suggest nor does it fit with the style my story is written in.

I'm sorry I had to be that open to you, but of what use is a mild review which doesn't get to the point? That way you would never improve.

Like I said earlier, this is not meant against you or your writing style in general. I'm still thankful you took part in my contest and took your time to write and think about this character.

Final points:


 * Style of writing: You had a pretty decent intro, that means something. I also liked how you concluded the story with his first appearance in Patriots. ( 3 / 10 )


 * Originality: Sadly a Skakdi going onto a killing spree to hunt and devour Matoran for fun isn't very original. ( 1 / 10 )


 * Suspense: The intro, once again, scores for you here. ( 3 / 10 )


 * Character development: Kalvost was presented as a violent and insane character, but soon after was revealed as a splatter-movie alike. No real character developement to be found, but the idea of insanity wasn't that bad. ( 2 / 10 )


 * Matching with the canon: Does not match, sadly. ( 0 / 1 )

-- 17:01, December 16, 2013 (UTC)