Talk:Uprising, Chapter 5: Discovery

I have to say, I do admire this revision. Theran's dialogue seems to be a lot more professionally done than the previous version, and I love how you acknowledged the silliness of the Protosteel Worm and called it a spiky lamp. That was a nice touch, though there is some interesting symbolism in that the Protosteel Worm marks the first instance of technology appearing in the rural setting of this story set in the rustic German Balfe Nui countryside. :P

I also admire the alterations to Sned's dialogue. He seems a lot more useful here, explaining that the door mechanism is broken and offering up his weapon. I used to think that Theran looked awkward carrying such a custom weapon that was so obviously not his, but the dialogue now seems to fit it so much better and it actually doesn't bother me at all. I might even go so far as to say that it suits him better in this rewritten version, even if it's exactly the same picture.

Overall, this is another wonderful little addition that further expands the world of Balfe Nui and adds more depth to your characters.