Talk:The Dark Side

Official NRC Review
While I'm still in the middle of reading Dark Origins I've decided to do another NRC review, since I am now the NRC's leader.

But back to the matter at hand. The Dark Side, another The Eternal Game ripoff fight to the death contest story, this one a collaboration that many users (including me) have participated in. To be honest, this story's plot doesn't seem extremely original, while I'd rather not point this out again, the "beings trapped an an arena and told to kill off all of the other contestants until only a select number remains (usually one)." is something I've seen before. More then once. Nor do the chapters insofar seem extremely original, but I'll go into that later.

But on to the good. CB and Toa Roden, both good authors, have written for this story, and their chapters are quite well written, in some cases, surpassing the quality of TEG's earlier chapters. Also, for a serial written by multiple users, this story fits quite well together, there are no continuity errors I can spot, nor is any of the writing here extremely poor. It's not badly paced or plotted, either, compared with many of the works on here.

However, while some of the writing may be good, it cannot outweigh the major problem with this story, the lack of characterization. The storyline is full of overused plot material, and the rest is completely clichéd. But going beyond that, the fact that the blurb says "The Dark Side is a Fight to the Death story, focusing on each character's emotions, seeing how many people they will kill to stay alive (or keep others alive)", and that quite honestly I see no real character development or characterization along those lines, and very little emotion whatsoever. (Show, don't tell, as the writer's proverb goes).

Quite honestly, it seems that some being just told the people trapped here that they have to kill each other and they began cutting each other down merrily, without objection. I know that the Gameplace encourages beings to kill while they're inside it, but no one seems to bother struggling against the impulses, and what could have been a dramatic moment turns into another violent battle scene. (Not that I have any problems with battle scenes, of course, but they should happen for a reason, not just because two beings ran across each other in the Gameplace and decided to kill each other).

And what about the Toa? The Code forbids them to kill, yet Whiteout seems to have no problem with it. (Granted, she didn't actually end up killing Jareroden, Xillahk stopped her, but she would have).

However, reading the latest chapters, I've noticed the writing is improving, albeit slightly. I enjoyed Baterra's chapter, it was quite good. Coordinating so many writers on a project like this is not easy, and the fact that the plot is quite straightforward is a major achievement. However, the relatively clichéd plot and the lack of large amounts of characterization bring it down.

There are some good character portrayals, however. Varkanax, ELT, and Millennium are all portrayed well. (Though not perfectly, just because they have no trouble killing doesn't mean they don't have a personality.

My final decision: This story is not extremely bad. Nor is it extremely good. It's relatively competent compared to many of the stories on here, but it needs some definite improvement before it can be called a must-read.

Overall Grade: B-