The Chronicles of Jaller



The Chronicles of Jaller is a fanmade show by Harlan Haskins and Stephen Simmons.

Mistakes in the Series

 * The characters are called "robots", but BIONICLEs are actually bio-mechanical.

A Summary of the Show
Jaller is a lovable, but stupid robot. He thinks Hahli (actually Nuparu) is his friend, but Hahli disagrees, and he also edited what Jaller said about the first day they met. Hahli said, "You know, if I recall correctly, I think I hit you on the head. Hard. And you went--(clears throat)--Ow!"

Jaller insisted they were good friends, but Hahli said he didn't even want to be friends with him, and if he was around Jaller, he was just babysitting him so he wouldn't kill himself.

Jaller has 'friends', like his brother Hewkii (who has a Russian accent), a dad, named Edward Locobolt, who is so stupid he has a disease that makes him repeat every last word he says after he finishes saying a sentence, a cousin he did not know is his cousin White Dude, an enemy named "Sugar", an evil cousin named Kyle (who is a Barraki), a mean uncle (Axonn), and a car named Un-Car.

Jaller has hated that car because it crashes into him on purpose. After it runs into him the car yells, "Good as New!!!" (though when Jaller had his abs the car couldn't run over him). even though Jaller has been crashed into, he is not good as new (he tried to fix himself the same way, but failed). Un-Car does the crashing because his master, Sugar, told him to, and yells, "Good as New!" just to be evil.

Jaller stars in clips put together in a 3-5 minute movie being called "The Chronicles of Jaller" for the past three years. He also has two movies, and a Christmas special. It is a spoof of "Christmas Carol" with Hahli as Scrooge. Once he made an "Alien Away" medicine commercial that helps you be safe from aliens that want to turn humans and biomechanical beings into Jell-o™. He also has a Geico commercial, a Hulu commercial, and plenty of other commercials. You might say Jaller is a "celebrity".

In the "Jaller Update" video, the characters explained that new Jaller videos would be released, but less Chronicles videos would be made. The new videos would mostly be along the lines of "Jaller Raps" and "Jaller Gets Swine Flu".

Quotes
Why are you so tall?

Black piraka: Jaller drinks coffee

"I went to the gym and got a bunch of abs!"

- Jaller with his abs, The Chronicles of Jaller Part 1

"Hisssss"

- Kyle

"I get hit by reindeer and fail"

- Hewkii on Christmas, Jaller Christmas Special Part 2

"Stand aside, Tootsie Pops!"

- Axon, Jaller Awakens.

"We are gathered here today to witness the union of Jaller and Jaller's death"

- Axon at Jaller's funeral, Jaller Awakens.

"Axon: What do you think Jaller would think about this!? He has been known to overreact about things..." (flashback) Jaller: "Where are my socks, Axon?" Axon: "You don't wear socks, Jaller; none of us-WHOA!" Jaller: "WHERE ARE MY SOCKS?!" (Flashback to Kyle barely touching Jaller) Jaller: "DON'T TOUCH ME!" (Flashback to Black Piraka and Jaller) Black Piraka: Hey, Jaller-" Jaller: "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!" *shoots Black Piraka*"

- Axon, Jaller, and Black Piraka, Jaller Leaves Los Angeles: Part 1

Main Characters

 * Jaller - An eccentric and quite stupid "robot" who is the main character.
 * Kyle (Ehlek Barraki) - Jaller's evil cousin who likes to try to kill Jaller. Due to drugs Kyle has lost his voice and only talks by growling and hissing.
 * Hali (Nuparu) - Jaller's babysitter who hates everything. He is now on vacation.
 * Hewkii - Jaller's younger brother. He has something against busses for some reason. He also is sort of acting like Jaller now, doing completely stupid and worthless things, though now he has gained some sanity.
 * Axon (Axonn) - Jaller's uncle. He also hates Jaller. Jaller once stole a trophy from him. He was the preacher for Jaller's three funerals.
 * White Dude (Matoro) - Jaller's cousin and Axonn's son. His real name is Matoro, but Jaller for some reason can't say his name, so he just calls him White Dude.
 * Un-Car - a car ordered by Sugar to run over Jaller. In Jaller 7, he was replaced with a ball. It hasn't been seen since episode 17, but it was finally seen again in Jaller Awakens, in which it ran into Jaller and killed him the second time.
 * Sugar (Vezon Piraka) - Jaller's sworn enemy. He was beaten by Jaller's group twice, the second time he was killed by the Black Piraka. For some reason, Jaller is the only hope to defeat Sugar.
 * Batso (Antroz Makuta) - So far, he has only appeared in Jaller 2 Randomania. His voice is very high-pitched, and he comes with his own sub-titles. He also knew the location of a time machine.
 * Black Piraka (Reidak Piraka) - The black Piraka. He was one of Sugar's minions until he killed Sugar and became one of Jaller's friends. He was stuck in a restroom for two years until someone finally unlocked the door. However, even though he is around, nobody acknowledges his presence, no matter what he does. In Black Piraka Gets Noticed Part 1, he can't even make physical contact.
 * "Hoo" (Mark Surge) - A foreigner who arrived some time after Jaller left for Los Angeles. He can't speak English that good yet. Hewkii and Axon found him and decided that he could be their third guy. His name is unknown, but Axon thought that the sneeze he did right before he was going to say it was his name, and Axon shortened it.

Reoccurring Characters
Characters that have had numerous appearances in the series.
 * Seizure elephant - A regular elephant that has seizures. When it does, Jaller's always there to sing his song, "The Elephant's Having a Seizure." Also used as the republican symbol.
 * Cat - a cat.
 * Joaquin (Photok Matoran) - a "foreign exchange student from Mexico." He appeared in episode 17 and got attacked by bombs from his country that was at war, then again in part 22, but then he dug a hole to another country. He was later in Jaller Awakens, in which he attended Jaller's three "funerals."
 * Jaller's Abs - Jaller isn't using these as of late, so it acts like an independent being. It hasn't been used in several episodes.
 * Voice - the guy who introduces the episodes by saying, "The Adventures of...Jaller! Part (episode number)."
 * Random Stranger - some guy. He apparently owes Jaller one million dollars. He usually inflicts pain upon him.

One-Time Characters
Characters that have only appeared for one clip in an episode.
 * Scooby Doo and Shaggy - he appeared once in episode 14 for one clip.
 * Calculus-loving nerd - He made an appearance once in Jaller 2: Randomania yelling, "I love calculus!"
 * Pumpkin - One of Sugar's minions. He has so far only appeared in Jaller 2: Randomania. He was hired by Sugar after being challenged by Pumpkin to hit him.
 * General Cupcake - Another one of Sugar's minions. He forcibly joined Sugar's team when Pumpkin did. He also was at Jaller's funeral after he died all three times during Jaller Awakens.
 * Dark Shadow - An assassin hired by Sugar to kill Jaller. He was killed by Axonn when his respirator was ripped off his back.
 * Brown Piraka (Avak Piraka) - The brown Piraka. He was shot several times and killed by Hewkii during the first battle with Sugar.
 * Ed - Commonly known as Gadunka. He is very stupid creature hired by Sugar. He was killed by Sugar during the first fight against him and his head was used to kill the Hewkii clone.
 * Gadunka 2000 - Sugar's secret weapon against Jaller during the second fight. He was blown up after the White Dude threw his sword in his mouth.
 * Old people - Tahu, Lewa, and Gali Mata. They were used by Gadunka as weapons that were thrown at Jaller. Tahu lost an arm the last time he did something stupid.
 * Chuck and Fred - two Vahki. Both of them were eventually killed (though one survived even though his head was cut off by White Dude. The head talked to Jaller, which scared him). Also Kyle's "friends".
 * Butthorn - some guy tortured by Jaller in Jaller 20.
 * Moby Dick - A thing also annoyed by Jaller in Jaller 20.
 * Biology book - It shouldn't be alive, but it too was annoyed by Jaller in Jaller 20.
 * Yogurt (Vorahk Rahkshi) - the black Rahkshi. It too is retarded like Jaller, and his sentences are usually one word said muliple times.
 * Bush - A small little thing that's really one leg with a head on it. He is Dark Shadow's assistant.
 * Writers - Not actually seen, but do have a speaking part in Jaller part 19. They also go on a strike during that part.
 * Fat Jason - a character only used during Jaller 14. Jaller climbed him, but was knocked off.
 * Jaller's voice - He is shown twice: the first time during "Jaller forgot Thanksgiving" and the second time during Jaller part 26
 * Donkey - used as the Democrat symbol.
 * Ice Cream - some sort of Ice-cream thing. When Jaller approached it, the thing poped out it's arms and head and attacked Jaller.
 * Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle - a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle that fell on Jaller, then said, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!"
 * Alternate Car - a car in an alternate world. It possibly has the same purpose as the Un-Car. The only difference is that this car is a truck.
 * Crazy Walking Man - A running person whom Hahli punched while in the alternate world.
 * Fish - a polar bear Jaller found in the alternate world. He later jumped on Jaller, and was also seen falling down a flight of stairs
 * Random dancing person - a person who was seen dancing behind Jaller during Jaller 15
 * Camera - the camera. Randomly, only Jaller can see it. He only sees (and mentions) it during the movies
 * Giant Hand - a hand that grabs Jaller in the alternate world
 * Fat guy - A guy who fell on Jaller and Hali in the alternate world
 * "Kitty" - a raccoon who said, "Cocaine!" before biting Jaller
 * Evil Calender - Hali's present to the White Dude. It fell on White Dude when he opened the box.
 * Asparagus - Hali's present to Jaller. the dog tackled Jaller when he was named.
 * Frosty the Snowman - a snowman. He later melted and Jaller was very sad.
 * Pepperface - Jaller's horse. He later died protecting Jaller.
 * Mustardnose - another horse owned by Jaller (possibly to replace Pepperface).
 * Toa Kringle - "The Chronicles of Jaller" version of Santa Clause. He also now hates Jaller.
 * Devoured Tyrannosaurus Rex Carcass - what's left of an eaten T-rex carcass. Jaller asked what it was thankful for, then he started eating it.
 * Singing Animal Sponsers - singing animals that apparently sponser the show.
 * Jaguar - a pet owned by Hewkii. He is harmless unless you say the phrase that will make him vicious. It appeared in Jaller Awakens, attending Jaller's funeral on Hewkii.
 * Musical Macintosh - a computer used to introduce episode 25 in place of the voice.
 * Darth Vader - he who got Jaller to join the Dark Side by giving him a Dorito.
 * Flamingo - a flamingo. Jaller refers to it as a "pretty lady."
 * Piranha - a piranha that attacked Jaller Mahri.
 * Vegetales people - see name
 * Random Lego people - a ton of random Lego people watching Jaller.
 * Yoda - a Yoda Pez-holder.
 * Darth Vader 2 - same as Yoda.
 * Jaller's Arm - Jaller's arm. It somehow climbed up a ledge. It's been in all the episodes, but in episode 3 it acted like an independent being.
 * Dinosaur - a dinosaur that ate Jaller's head in part 4.
 * Batman - In the Jaller movie, he was seen being kicked by Kyle.
 * My Little Pony Horse - a horse that appeared in Jaller twice: the first time it was just there while Jaller was singing, "My little pony, my little pony!" then again when his abs stole it from him.
 * Dead Guy - a dead person (who even said he was dead to Hewkii).
 * Army Men - a bunch of blue and tan-colored army men used as Sugar's army in Randomania. Some of them were eaten by Jaller, but the rest were somehow defeated by him.
 * Talking Skull - a talking skull that Jaller ate.
 * Eye Doctor - a sock puppet who is an eye doctor and a medical doctor. He works in a closet, which led Axonn and Jaller to believe he is perverted. He much later appeared at the site of where Hewkii broke his leg, telling the gang that the other doctor was kidnapped, and fixed Hewkii's leg.
 * Larger being - a person Axonn used to show ways Jaller could get hurt.
 * Parent - A stuffed animal. She has two kids: Jimmy and Timmy. After Jaller ate them, she filed a police report.
 * Jimmy - A child Jaller was assinged to babysit. He talks like Elmo. He was eaten after he told Jaller he would call the police for eating his brother, though Axonn later got them out of Jaller.
 * Timmy - The other child Jaller was told to babysit. He, too, talks like Elmo. He was eaten after Jaller failed to play hide and seek, though Axonn got them out of him.
 * Dixon - A sock puppet. He appeared in Jaller Leaves Los Angeles: Part 2, telling the audience that the Jaller series was cancelled, but Axon exposed this as a lie and told him to leave.
 * Dr. Williams - A medical doctor. He looks like a rabbit with fangs. Axon found him after searching with Hoo for a doctor. However, on the way, he was kidnapped and thrown in somebody's trunk.
 * Ganz Hruber (William Furno) - The leader of the Hero Factory gang that captured Axon for ransom. However, he and his gang were stopped by Hoo, who managed to free Axon and defeat them all.
 * Ambidexterous (Dunkan Bulk) - One of the members of the Hero Factory gang. His arms both have guns on them, and he apparently hates this about him.many fans like him so he my become a reocoring character.he has also stared in jaller geico comercial 2.
 * Chopper (Jimi Stringer) - Another member of the Hero Factory gang. He is the most violent member of the gang.
 * Sir Mr. Death Pony III, Esq. (Natalie Breez) - The fourth member of the Hero Factory Gang, who acts and speaks very girly.
 * Hero Factory McMotorcycle (Furno Bike) - After Axon said that he learned not every Hero Factory is a "stupid lame dumbwad," McMotorcycle drove up to them, said hi, and was about to introduce himself, but Jaller shot him. His name was shown at the end of Axon Gets Kidnapped.
 * Tall Guy - A 2008 Takanuva, who speaks with a gruff Austrailian accent. He was first met by Black Piraka, who told him about his problem of not being able to be noticed by his friends. In response, the tall guy gave him the advice to find out what makes them not notice him.
 * Penguin - A penguin who went to the second grade with Black Piraka. Out of their entire class, he was the only one who wasn't invited to the Black Piraka's birthday party. Years later, Penguin finally got his revenge by placing a curse on Black Piraka, which caused him to go unnoticed by his friends. However, it was later broken. He also knows Black Piraka's full name.

Unused Characters
Characters that should have appeared, but didn't.
 * Brown Piraka Drone - a character meant to be in Jaller 2: Randomania.
 * Pudding - The red Rahkshi. He, too, was supposed to be in Randomania

Episodes

 * 26 episodes, including:
 * Outdoor Extravaganza (Part 7)
 * Kyle Edition! (Part 10)
 * Jaller's Day Off (Part 13)
 * 2-Part Christmas Special (both Part 16)
 * Let It Snow (Part 18)
 * One-topic videos
 * How Jaller Gets Hurt
 * Jaller Raps
 * Jaller Gets Swine Flu
 * Jaller Awakens
 * 2 Thanksgiving Specials ("Jaller Wishes You a Happy Thanksgiving" and "Jaller Forgot Thanksgiving")
 * Jaller Goes to the Eye Doctor
 * Jallerpop
 * Jaller Babysits
 * Jaller Discovers Gravity
 * Jaller Plays with Black Piraka
 * Jaller Drinks Coffee
 * Jaller Goes to Los Angeles: Part 1
 * Jaller Goes to Los Angeles: Part 2
 * Jaller Leaves Los Angeles: Part 1
 * Jaller Leaves Los Angeles: Part 2
 * Hewkii Breaks His Leg
 * Axon Gets KIdnapped
 * Black Piraka is Lonely
 * Black Piraka Gets Noticed Part 1
 * Black Piraka Gets Noticed Part 2
 * The Best of Jaller
 * Jallerfield (upcoming)

Movies

 * Jaller 1: The Movie
 * Jaller 2: Randomania
 * Jaller 3: Quantum of Stupidity (Upcoming)                    jaller 4:a dawn breaker (coming soon)

Commercials and More

 * "No more Jaller"
 * Jaller 2: Randomania (several)
 * "Alien Away"
 * Geico commercial
 * Hulu commercial spoof
 * Jaller Says LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!
 * Jaller 3 (a few, one being a prank)
 * Facebook
 * Jallerfield (one)
 * Jaller Fourm
 * Hewkii's Youtube Channel
 * Jaller Update
 * Jaller Geico Commercial 2
 * Jaller T-Shirts

Rating
There are very few inappropriate things. Some have brief bad-language and things that are not that great for kids to see, one of them is a 3-letter word on a book!

Overall, the series is very hilarious. Watching it would be recommended.

Canon Info
Jaller is a Ta-Matoran who lived in Ta-Metru, Metru-Nui. He later became a villager of Ta-Koro when the Toa Metru moved the Matoran and themselves to Mata Nui. The Toa Metru became Turaga, and Jaller became a Toa Inika, and then a Toa Mahri. Today, we may not know what he's doing (and I mean the canon jaller). I think he became a Toa Mystyria.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGAejVJYoUs&feature=channel