User blog comment:FireDrag1091/Coldest Day Reviews/@comment-24510871-20131225235453

The Coldest Day was really enjoyable to read and it was really interesting to see the story develop as it progressed. Now for my review. :D

I thought the story flowed quite well. The descriptions you provided matched well with the fast-paced action of the story. Although at times you seemed to jump from present to past tense, which did occasionally lose the story some traction. So for coherence, I give The Coldest Day a solid 7/10. The overall mood of the story was quite suspenseful, and often kept my eyes glued to the screen, eager to find out what happened next. This feeling was especially prominent when we first hear of the tension between the Lykos Republic and Metru Nui and continued right until the end of the chapter. However, due to the minor tense issues mentioned above, the mood dipped from time to time. For suspense, I'll give this story a 9/10. Now for character development, which I believe was the strongest aspect of this story. The way Vantelic went from a calm and collected character to a rather bruised and angry character towards the end was a fresh way of developing a character, seeing as it usually goes the other way. I particularly enjoyed the way significant changes to his character occurred both during and after his encounters with each bounty hunter. Which leads me to my next point, the bounty hunters! I don't want to drone on about each bounty hunter, so I'll just say that I particularly liked Tiara and "Locus"/Szsag. So for character development, an easy 10/10. The dilemma of the story was rather interesting: seeing how Vantelic overcame increasingly serious injuries and bounty hunters each night. While it did seem like he unrealistically recovered from rather nasty injuries some nights, it really helped develop his character and gave the story an interesting dynamic. One other minor problem I would like to mention was the way "Doom Viper" died. Whilst I understand the reasoning behind it, I feel that some hints towards this event happening could have been dropped beforehand. For the dilemma, I give The Coldest Day 8/10. And lastly, originality. Whilst I have seen similar ideas in other stories before, I haven't seen them applied to a BIONICLE setting at all. The idea of it was great, especially how you stuck with the idea of time throughout. Like FireStar, I also enjoyed the Batman-esque feel. For originality, I'm also going to award the story 25/30.

Adding up the score, that's a really nice 59/70, an A! You should be proud! :D While far from perfect, The Coldest Day was an enjoyable read and I look forward to reading more of your stories! Also, hope you had a good Christmas.