User blog comment:Kopakamata97/Survival of the Fittest Chapter 1 Review/@comment-3412476-20130420171622

Looks all right to me. Not great, admittedly, but not bad, either. And although you do seem to be having a bit of trouble with the 'show, don't tell' guideline, your writing certainly does ensure that the reader wants to know what happens next. This is the all-important factor; congratulations! :D