Talk:The Darkness Consumes

Rating
Okay Chalk, now onto your story!

I'm not entirely sure what to think of it. I saw some nice things here and there, like Ilba and Guina thinking they are "freed" in the end... and those two being two of the forgotten warriors you saw in Patriots.

But I think an important part is missing there. As a reader you're thrown directly into the story without knowing the characters or the setting... while that could be great to build up some nice suspense, we don't learn anything else later on. I wonder where they even are or what their characters might be but sadly these questions get unanswered. The actions and events happen really fast without a smooth connection. That makes a reader being confused easily.

I know that this sounds like a pretty harsh critique, but as I said to Kopakamata earlier, I want to be honest here. I see the potential of this story and you already had some nice points in it :)

Here is your scoring!

Style of writing: ( 4 / 10 )

Originality: ( 3 / 10 )

Suspense: ( 4 / 10 )

Character development: ( 2 / 10 )

Matching with the canon: ( 1 / 1 )

Total: ( 13 / 40 ) -- 16:09, December 18, 2013 (UTC)