User blog:ToaTusk/Ghosting

Okay, so this is what you can call real talk.

Most of you have already heard this as my first blog of a similar subject got a lot of support (surprisingly). In 2015 or sometime like that I announced I was leaving the wiki. In early 2016 or something I made a secret comeback for like a week. I was pumped to start a new story and everything.

Now, before I continue further, I want to apologize for the negativity of this post. This is the type of thing this wiki DOES NOT need, and I fully recognize this. However, I tried stating this issue to a number of other users, and I never really got the answer I was looking for.

This is not some sort of sob story, but more of an autobiography of my sad little adventure on this wiki. I decided to present this in the form of a blog, considering the ammount of feedback I got on my previous one.

I will most likely get a lot of mixed opinions on this, which is why I will NOT be reading the comments on this blog. The moment I am done typing this up I will exit the page and never return to CBW unless future business requires it. I don't expect this blog to stay up for very long as I am sure an admin will delete it eventually. All I ask is that you please read this through and try to understand.

Where do I start?

Okay so I was about 13 years old when I joined CBW. I did things here and there that where pretty nooby, and then and there I got into differences with people.

Many of you will say I'm a crybaby for making this blog and to be honest, yes I am. However, I am 16 years old now, and the fact that I still feel this same way is a sure sign of just how much this stuff affected me. Please do not give me the same "we appreciate you. You don't have to feel this way" crap.

I, like most on the wiki drew inspiration from others, even to the point of plagarism. I only had select few users even care about my storyline. When I tried to get others involved they either said it was cool, or it was dumb, and I like that. People have their own opinions...I get it. However, this lack of notice drew me to rip off other peoples stories even more than before, and therefore I get less popular. I always imagined myself staying here forever, and eventually becoming an admin. Something that I soon came to realize would never happen.

In 2014 I was at an all time high here. I was writing stories building mocs getting recognition. It was great.

Flash forward another year. Things changed dramtically. This is where things got bad. My childlike personality that I had  from my earlier years here, never really subsided and because of that other users felt I was too immature, and that became the new reason to ignore me. I wouldn't have cared that much if I hadn't seen users join two years after me, do stupid stuff, get forgiven, then make the main page. I realize 70% is my fault for not putting anything out there to get featured, but come on, two years I had been here, and people weren't recognizing me at all. Two years is longer than a handful of popular users had even stuck around for. But whatever, popularity is was not why I joined. I joined for Bionicle.

Sometime later I started hanging around with the wrong crowd here. Yes, you know who I'm talking about. I tried to take matters into my own hands on occasions, because I am a bit of a control freak. I even took it upon myself to replace other users files because they looked like gigantic eyesores, and I really didn't want this place to look like the wreck that it was. I tried helping new users, only to be told not to on numerous occasions, and more and more my motivation was drained.

While I was hanging around this bad crowd, my personality changed, and I thought that was a good thing. However, it only got me into more trouble as I was disrespectful to staff on multiple occasions. I did research on the staff and I saw more and more just how corrupt some of them where. Okay, maybe not corrupt, but hypocritical to say the least. They made rules for us, then broke them in so called comedic ways. I am not talking about all staff members here, some of the happen to be the nicest people i have ever met online, and for that I am truly grateful. Anyway enough on that.

In time I broke free from that bad influence and I came back to my senses. Most people never forgave me. I was ignored now more than ever. Every bit of anything I put out there got negative critiscm in one way or another. I got even more drained.

2015 was supposed to be a great year, as the one thing we all wanted happened. BIONICLE was back. However, at that point I didn't really care. Some new users befriended me, and I told them the issue. They listened. It was nice. However, shortly after some jerk would jump on and tell me that I was overthinking things and stuff.

Something I failed to mention earlier is that I was at a pretty bad point in real life as well. I had just started highschool. As you can imagine things got really really sucky, when at the end of a long day, I would join this wiki hoping for a safehaven only to see I had no comments on my new blog. I would join chat, they would kick me jokingly, or just talk amongst themselves and ignore me.

So, later on that year, after all my creativity had been drained I quit. THEN everyone decides to care. I bid everyone fairwell, then departed to start a new chapter in my life.

However, in early 2016 it became clear that chapter was going to be delayed dramatically and I decided to give this place one more go. Long story short, nothing changed.

So, for the past few moths I have been ghosting. I have only gotten 1 talk page message during that time. You would think after that huge response to my departure blog everyone would have gladly welcomed me back. I guess I expected too much.

It is a combination of all these reasons I feel like this place is cancer to those who aren't in the "inner circle", and that Is why I am leaving for good this time. In a few ways this place was amazing, but in more it was horrible.

I am pleased to announce however, that the new chapter in my life finally got here, and it is going great thus far.

I just felt like I needed to say all that.

Anyway, I know I rambled and that this was poorly typed, but I don't feel like spell checking it or anything.

I want to give a shout out to those who helped me along the way (you know who you are), and to the jerks, I hope you stop being so jerky.

Goodbye.