Talk:From the Depths

Rating
Hey thefirstmakuta.

As with the others, I've written your story and I see the need of a small discussion here.

I think your main idea was nice. You wanted to show Nuva's life before he became what he is now and put some thought into it. Sadly your story doesn't match the requirements. The style of writing is partly confusing and not clear what actually happens, along with descriptions in capslock which sounds they make. Just as a tip: Try to write it into words as a description of what happens and not as sounds :) Secondly the story didn't describe the characters or the setting at all. The only parts were the environment was described when things like doors suddenly exploded.

I don't want to write all the things which didn't match here at once. There are many parts which can be done better, but as always each author has to grow with their style and I'm sure you'll do that as well. If you have any questions to particular parts I'll answer them!

I'll still give you your final results here.

Style of writing: ( 1 / 10 )

Originality: ( 2 / 10 )

Suspense: ( 1 / 10 )

Character development: ( 2 / 10 )

Matching with the canon: ( 0 / 1 )

Total: ( 0 / 1 )

-- 20:42, December 19, 2013 (UTC)