User blog comment:Gahlok va98/Zina's tale is out!/@comment-2026417-20130424001044

Alright, I did have to move the page and add a wikify template to it (policy things). First off, I'd suggest laying out the article according to wiki policy. Right now, it's a little bit jumbled. Don't worry, I made the same mistake about five times when I first joined a wiki.

Most of my criticism is stylistic as of now.

First on the list: paragraphs. Your chapters right now are just a single, jumbled mess. That's not exactly something you want. I'd assume this is just the result of copy-pasting from a word processor, where the spacing function is different. There need to be two spaces between paragraphs to produce an actual blank line on the wiki (thanks to the wiki's coding). You should definitely fix that.

As for the story, the bits I've skim read seem okay. You do need to work on some formatting a little. Separate the date/time banner, and perhaps bold it to add more separation.

I'll read into it more later when I have time. Right now, the writing shows promise, but I definitely think you can improve it some more with just a little more effort. It's not bad, but there's potential you're not tapping, and I think with a little more time and care in the project it could go a lot further.

I'd recommend looking at other pages and seeing what those writers do. Also, make sure you have your plot summarized for yourself somewhere on paper. This is just writing advice now though, so I think I'll quit XD.

Well, that's all I got now. Sorry if I sound a little caustic, but I'm the wiki's resident critic. It's my job XD. Well, good luck. Just make some page improvements and it should be fine. I'll finish reading it when I have time and give you some more critique afterwards.