User blog:Chalk33/Rejection! Ranius 2014 Update

Hey everybody! Instead of a monthly update (because I really don't feel like writing one right now), I'm gonna give you an excerpt from the prologue of my latest story, A New World, that I wrote in class today. It's a rough draft (I wrote it today and haven't tried any revision) and it may not be final (or good :P). Well, here it is:

First Draft of a Part of A New World
"I grow tired of making our 'friend' go insane on his own, brother," said Carad. They were in a monitor station on the slowly deteriorating space station that, not too many years ago, served as the base of operations of the assassin's guild known as The Children of Teridax. Computer monitors lined the wall, showing different corridors and rooms located in their section of the station. Carad and Winde were sitting in comfortably padded chairs in front of a particular screen, which showed a black-clad Glatorian in his prisoner cell.

"As do I," replied Winde, "but blatant torture, while quite enjoyable, could damage his memories much more."

"Why not go find a Kanohi Rode, and use it to steal the truth from him with ease?"

"Please, brother. That would not cause him pain. And no pain means no fun," Winde replied, a smile forming behind his Kanohi Shelek. A smile also formed behind the Jutlin of Carad.

"What do you suggest, then?"

"It may sound a little... comical or cliche at first, but I suggest we use the probe."

"Oh, yes! Wonderful idea, brother! Let me go grab the robotic janitor, so it can... clean up afterwards." They both got up, sinister grins behind their masks, and began the walk towards the interrogation chamber, eagerly awaiting the screams of pain and terror they would soon here.

Some of your best work yet! Pretty good. Great, for someone at a low level of writing skill (don't feel bad to choose this, I really do suck :P) Trash it. I do not understand this.

Fin
Well, that's all I have so far. Feel free to tell me what you think in the comments and enjoy your April!