Talk:Fate of the Skrall: Baterra Lair

Official NRC review
Before I begin, I would first like to showcase this quote, from part 3 of Baterra Lair:

"They could be anywhere! They could be anything!" "Really? Then let's blast EVERYTHING!"

- Atakus and Telluris on the Baterra

This quote pretty much describes the story, which is for the most part about a small team of warriors blasting Baterra to bits. It's not really very complex, though I'm not going to say it's not refreshing.

There. Now you have the plot. (As a footnote, there are a few things I'm curious about, such as the reasons why Tuma tries to get revenge on the Baterra instead of Mata Nui, and why Click saves Tuma. Also, what the Karzahni is the part about Metus for?)

The writing style, meanwhile, is missing a lot of description. (In fact, it's missing almost any description whatsoever.) It doesn't seem that a lot of effort has been put into characterization, either; all the protagonists are defined by their single-minded hatred of Baterra and nothing else. I must admit, though, that I do like Telluris: the maniacal way he acts when blowing up robots is actually rather likable.

My penultimate gripe about the writing is how the POV changes repeatedly within almost the same paragraph; it's best not to do that, as it tends to confuse people, me included. My final one is that when the POVs do change, they're all pretty dull; there's not really a difference in the way the characters see things.

Wait, scratch that; it occurred to me that the characters don't really "see" anything at all. There is no perspective on anything whatsoever. Now, I'm not saying that you should turn this into a first-person narrative; what I mean is that you should focus a bit more on what someone thinks about something, like you did with the Metus narrative.

My final judgment: It could use a bit of improvement both plot- and style-wise, and the writing may be a little messy, but despite the fact that I wouldn't call this a must-read, it's not a bad story. Especially if you're the type of person who likes to read about robots being blasted to bits.

Overall grade: B-